There are some moments in your life that you know will be moments
you remember forever.
And they’re not the cheesy high school graduation pictures,
or the first time you see the love of your life across a bonfire
at a party on the beach in some guy’s house who you don’t know.
They’re not moments like your wedding day,
or spending Sunday afternoons in bed with your man.
They’re moments you don’t even realize are moments to remember until
you’re right in the middle of them. Like staring up at a clear blue sky in
the backyard, and then seeing him walk up the driveway.
Like directing your chalk choo choo train through the swamp of No Money Men
on the sidewalk with your best friend. Like looking at your bedroom right before
you head out the door on the way to his place to tell him.
Your rumpled bed with the rumpled sheets that still have his scent on the pillows.
It looks like a bed from a bygone era,
from a relationship that happened a long time ago.
And it’s pitch black, and there’s a black ocean raging underneath,
just like how I saw it out of my window, but there is a light.
And I can make it. I know I can.
I’ve never been so sure of anything before.
I’m not tied to any one ending. Because there is no end.
You can always change. Everyone is capable of change.
It’s only the weak ones who can’t.
It’s the ones who are scared who don’t.
I’m not scared any more.